Today is my 6th day of not smoking. I feel pretty proud of myself, although I can't seem to kick the feeling of how nice it would be to go sit on my steps enjoy my coffee with a smoke. I probably shouldn't drink coffee but then I get a headache, and I am already dieting and quitting smoking take the coffee away and I just might be the most unbearable person on the planet to be around. Last night was bad, I text my mom and asked her permission to smoke, the reasons that I wanted one were fair but she said no! hahaha I have to learn to deal with stress without having a frickin smoke! I know this, it's just a tough battle. I had so much rage I was about to drive almost 2hrs to the next city to punch the retard that I was mad at square in the face! Instead I bathed my lil one and then took our dog out, I told John and I swore I was going to have a smoke last night! I told him after we pick up a coffee that's it I am having a smoke, he didn't seem to want to stop me, I must have been a raving lunatic..I didn't light up! I just chewed him out for no good reason! hahahaha Poor John. I don't feel angry or grumpy today, just almost sad, its like part of me has died!! I WANT A SMOKE!!!
You are mourning your habit Kristin - something we have to do - especially you and I - cause we LOVE our smokes. You're allowed to miss it - just "know" you cannot light up or all your work is for nothing. What you are doing is much bigger than anger at someone - cause they couldn't give two fucks if you smoke or not. In fact they probably would love to see you fail - so DON'T! I know deep in my heart you are the strongest type of female and will succeed!! Hang in there sweetheart!! Almost 19 days for Mommy - OMG - YIPPIE!!!!