Tuesday, February 7, 2012


So tonight at around 10:30 -11  it will be 4 days, 4 roller coaster days. I have been an emotional wreck, from perfectly happy to angry and sad!! OMG I want this part of it all to be over and I want to just forget that I was a smoker. I picked up my second pack of champix, and have another 14 days of it, I m hoping that I won't feel the need to use it further then that. Whatever works right?? I feel proud, and I feel proud of my mom so to light up now I will feel like such a failure and disappointment all this work to allow a stupid stinky habit to take over. I just needed to come on here and remind myself why I don't need to light up, as this is my morning smoke time and find it a struggle sometimes!!


I think our emotions are going to run the gamete for some time to come dear daughter.  I am on day 16 and smoking is still in the forefront of my mind.  When I told Gordy I really wanted a smoke he said "you should be over that by now." I don't think so - not for a smoker who actually LOVES smoking......  I cannot wait for that to pass - if it ever does.  I do have struggle within a few times a day - I seriously believe if I had cigarettes in the house I would have lit up.  Refuse to buy them so that should carry me though the dark times. :)

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